I press my feet firmly into the Earth and struggle to control my breathing. My body quivers like the string on a bow which was just released. “Inhale, soften the gaze and hold still.” For this moment mountain pose has never felt so real. Dealing with external distractions, I work to keep my focus as beads of sweat pour from my brow. I lengthen my spine check my alignment and try to let go. “Stay calm Betty, breathe through the fear.” My senses open. “What was that. Maybe it’s a cougar stalking me. Stay still, be alert. I am one with the trees. There it is again, silly squirrel dropping pine cones. The noise was moving toward us, crunching the leaves as it walked.”

It’s 5am in the middle of a forest, miles from anywhere. To make things more interesting I have Cow Estrus (elk piss) all over my clothes so as not to scare the elk that we would be tracking and killing.

This is a far cry from practicing on my purple bamboo yoga mat breathing in sage. But as all intentional practices, they must be applied in real life situation.  I would like to think that my life’s path is devoted to falling in love with all beings, the Great Spirit and through that, myself. Yoga, the yoking of mind, body and soul, can be found in many ways such as holding a pose for those extra few minutes, finding peace on a subway or synching your breath and movements while brushing your teeth.

I am a passive-aggressive meat eater, dancer and yoga instructor. Chocolate is my drug of choice, my mantra is, “hurry up and relax” and my psychotherapy; the great outdoors. Now I find myself with two skilled bow hunters, tagging along to see if I can handle taking an animals life. Ever since I was 12 years old, I wondered the progression from a cow in the pasture to a hamburger in a bun. I thought that if I couldn’t handle the killing of animals, I shouldn’t be eating them. I never had judgments upon anyone who ate meat, I just wanted to take it to a personal level. Well it couldn’t get more personal than this. For a week we have been camping above 10 thousand feet, bathing in a 30 degree lake and waking at 3am to hike for miles on elk trails. And now we are 40 yards from a herd of 15 elk.

Elks are regal. They live in remote areas, nap on sunny ledges and drink out of clear mountain streams. Their voice blends the primal sounds of a whale and a didgeridoo. I feel tension and conflict rise into my heart. I’d rather eat meat that was killed in the wild than support the meat industry but in this moment, I vow to only eat plants. I was a vegan for 2 years but living in the mountains but anemia and cold active winters demands a heartier diet.

I hear the slow draw of the bow and see my boyfriend aim at his target. My hands glued in prayer pose, I telepathically scream to the herd “If you can here me run like hell or you will be killed and made into burgers!” My thoughts race with self hatred and excitement. I can feel every cell in my body tingling with life. One second later an 800 pound elk drops to the ground. My life and connection to anothers life, has just been deeply experienced.

With so many fusion based yoga programs, one can find strength and flexibility easily. You’ve got your power yoga, hot yoga, restorative yoga, yoga for your butt and yoga for your heart. But how many of us feel united with ourselves. We often multitask through life but the simplest of actions and intentions is what makes yoga work.

We’re all hunting for something when we embark on the inner journey through yoga but why should yoga be saved for a mat and four walls. Yoga, your union with the divine, may not be found in Sanskrit texts, designer yoga wear or expensive retreats. These outlets provide only a taste. Yoga, you will find in your heart and the hearts of those who leave their breath on the classroom windows as they stare in, with excuses and desire. Go outside of yourself and your daily routine. Find new ways to express your divine nature and find new ways to connect with the divine all around you. I’m not saying to go out and kill Bambi. But simply to bring your practice off the mat and into your life.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 9th, 2009 at 11:33 pm and is filed under bettys stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.